Still Alive

I haven’t blogged in over a year.  This is actually my first post in 2011, how sad is that?  For those of you who have forgotten to remove me from your Google Reader and are still receiving this update, I am still alive and well here in the Northwest.

Big changes happened in 2011, a new Jones was birthed back in July by yours truly.

This 9 lb. 10 oz. whopper was born at home on the same bed on which he was conceived.  (You had to know that, right? But I think it’s pretty cool.) The birth went smoothly other than the fact that he was trying to come-out with his head turned sideways, so there was this whole situation of him being stuck, wondering if he was breech, and me thinking I was going to die.  After a lot of moving and twisting and screaming and crying, he changed position and came-out without complication. Sullivan Hillyer Jones.

Evelyne and Harris were decorating the house for Sullivan’s birthday, and they came-in our bedroom to welcome him as soon as he was born.  They actually saw him and kissed him before I did (as I was lying on the bed in a state of physical shock), and Evelyne cut his cord.  They’ve been obsessed with him every since.

Sullivan is 4.5 months old now, and I’m happy to report that he has redeemed my two previous experiences of hating the baby stage.  My little redemption baby.  He is a joy, and I am enjoying every minute of him being little.

Thanks to my two little friends, Zoloft and baby formula, our family has a happy mom for the first time with an infant in the house.  I’m happy, he’s happy, and we’re all just happy!  Another bonus is that sleeps!  I’ve never had a baby who sleeps before.  The night before last he slept for—wait, are you ready?— 13.5 hours STRAIGHT.  I’m not kidding.  When Evelyne and Harris were this age, I was waking-up with them on average 3-6 times a night.  They were a crying, miserable, sleep-deprived mess, and so was I.  But sweet Sullivan, he just does his thing, and it is wonderful. I earned this one.

 

This Blog Is Moving!

Hello, dear subscribers!  I know you haven’t heard from me in awhile, but I’ve been doing some rearranging around here and have moved my blog to a new domain:

www.letsbehonesthereblog.com

If you go to the original blog site, you’ll get forwarded to the new one.  But your subscription to the old feed won’t carry-over when I start posting from the new one.  (I think.)  So please make sure you update your feed readers with my new address so you can receive  updates!

(I know you’re all dying to hear from me!)

www.letsbehonesthereblog.com

A little something to make your day happier

Sunday morning thoughts.

This morning at church we were singing the song Wholly Yours by the David Crowder Band.  I’m familiar with the song, but I think this is the first time I’ve looked at the lyrics while listening to it, and it brought a couple of things to my mind.  Here is the part that stuck-out to me:

I am full of earth
You are heaven’s worth
I am stained with dirt, prone to depravity
You are everything that is bright and clean
The antonym of me
You are divinity
But a certain sign of grace is this
From a broken earth flowers come up
Pushing through the dirt

You are holy, holy, holy
All heaven cries “Holy, holy God”
You are holy, holy, holy
I wanna be holy like You are

You are everything that is bright and clean
And You’re covering me with Your majesty
And the truest sign of grace was this
From wounded hands redemption fell down
Liberating man

I like this song, and I’m definitely not trying to disagree with its message, but some of the wording made me wonder about what is missing in many of our popular messages of the spiritual life.  Part of this song is about juxtaposing the holiness of God with the sinfulness of man, how remarkable it is that He stoops down to make us His.  This is a great truth of the Christian faith, but sometimes I think that our emphasis on the differences between God and man means that we lose the significance of what is also true:  “Christ in you, the hope of glory.” (Colossians 1:27)

Because of Jesus, God is no longer “out there” in His holiness, He’s in here, in us.  Not only are we covered in His righteousness, He has transformed our hearts to be righteous.  Our soul used to be defined by its inclination toward depravity, now it is defined by the presence of the Holy Spirit and His activity in renewing us to reflect Jesus.  In its brokenness, our humanity is a distorted picture, a shattered glass of the image of God imprinted on our souls.  But His life enters and becomes one with ours, our souls are inhabited by His life, and the picture is pieced back together.  His mission is restoration of our humanity in all that it was intended to be.

So while I think that the words of this song are not untrue…God is divinity and we have feet of clay… it doesn’t tell the whole story.  While it does speak of our redemption,  I feel like it leaves out the best part.  God didn’t leave us in our sinful state.  He didn’t merely cover our darkness with His light and call it good, He went a step further and transformed our darkness into light.  Larry Crabb says, “But for every Christian person, the soul can be viewed not only as valuable but also as good.”  (The Safest Place on Earth, 96)  Without Jesus, the deepest part of my soul was a place of darkness, emptiness, and longing.   Now, the deepest part of who I am is enlivened by the presence of the Spirit.  He has made me good, He has made me holy.

Christ in you, the hope of glory.



A Missed Opportunity

This article was passed along to me recently, and it really bothered me.  Basically, what happened is that Bellevue Baptist Church in Memphis, TN made a decision to open their adult softball league to community teams that weren’t affiliated with the church.  The coaches of the teams who chose to participate went through an orientation/training before the season started, including Jana Jacobson.  After the training, Jacobson was approached by one of the pastors of the church to confirm suspicions that she was gay and let her know that her team was no longer allowed to play in the church softball league because it would appear to send a message of the church condoning her sexuality.

Now, let me be clear… I’m very familiar with this church.  I have dear friends and family members who are a part of this church, and I want to approach this issue as sensitively as I can.  Many Bellevue church members and other Christians probably think this was a wise decision, and I don’t doubt their sincerity of heart in wanting to be authentic in their beliefs.  I do, however, strongly disagree with this decision to not let the team play because there are gay players.

Here’s why:

1.  They are not church members.  This was a team from the community that had no affiliation to the church, or any church, whatsoever.  Bellevue had opened-up their league to community teams, and this team was simply looking for more games.  In 1 Corinthians 5:12, Paul says, “What business is it of mine to judge those outside of the church?  Are you not to judge those inside?”  In other words, Christians have no business putting moral restrictions on those who are not members of their own community and called to a life in Christ. Jacobson had agreed to abide by the league rules which included moral codes like no alcohol, smoking, cursing, etc…  This decision was not in reaction to lewd behavior or any outward rule that was broken, it was about what a few softball players chose to do in their private lives off the field.

2.  This decision singles-out “gayness” as a sin worthy of disassociating yourself from… but I’m pretty sure there were no morality tests for other coaches and players.  In a church that size, I’m willing to bet there are other softball players who are involved in some things that the church wouldn’t condone.  There’s gotta be at least one guy cheating on his wife… several who are addicted to pornography, and probably a good handful who are just really big jerks.  By choosing to put the gay coach out of the league, Bellevue is sending a message that the issue isn’t being sinful, it’s being gay.  Everything else is ignorable and forgivable…being gay isn’t.

3.  This sends the absolute wrong message to the gay community.  I can only imagine how hurtful and angering this is to the gay community in Memphis.  This team, mixed of gay and straight players, simply wanted to play softball.  They were willing to voluntarily associate themselves with a church whose spiritual beliefs about their sexuality were not affirming because they realized that it’s just a softball game.  This could have been an incredible opportunity for bridge-building.  This could have been a chance for church members to show this team some love and acceptance, maybe opening a door for one of them to want to visit the church.  Conversations and friendships could have been started.  This could have been a healing experience for someone who has been deeply hurt by the Church because they are gay, just to play a normal game of softball with some Christians.  For all of the missions and outreach this church does, this softball team came to them!  This could have been a chance for a church member to see his gay neighbor as a regular person to hit a ball from rather than the “other.”  This could have been a beautiful opportunity for God to create some healing bridges from the Church to the gay community, but instead, I think it has erected more walls.

4.  This sends-out a message of a morality-first, at any cost, type of Christian faith.  Bellevue put the “danger” of someone getting the wrong idea about how they feel about homosexuality (I’m pretty sure there’s not much confusion about this, they tend to be pretty clear in their convictions.) above relationships.  They cut-off relationship to a non-Christian because they thought she wasn’t moral and it would reflect badly on them.  This is not the love of Jesus.  This is a deeply disappointing reflection of our tendency to judge others and self-protect our image.

I’m truly saddened by this story.  My intention in writing this isn’t to bash Bellevue Baptist Church, it’s to give voice to what I believe to be an injustice.  Christians are not called to stay cloistered in a group that protects itself from outsiders who might be different or disagree with them.  Jesus himself sought-out people who the religious people of His day discarded and rejected in order to show them love and treat them as a beautiful soul created in His image.  And if I recall, He received some flak for it and His reputation was questioned, but He knew that love is more important than your public spiritual image.   I really wish Bellevue had seen it that way.

***As a sidenote, part of the reason this interests me so much right now is that a few months ago I read a great book called Love is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community by Andrew Marin. This book is about how to build bridges from the Church to the gay community… how Christians should be the ones to take the first step of showing love and reconciling relationships.  The first time I read it, I was blown away, challenged, and excited.  So starting July 1, I’m going to be hosting a book group through my church for anyone who wants to read and discuss this book.  I hope for the group to be a safe place to explore our experiences, thoughts, and biases against the gay community as well as explore in prayer and conversation how we as Christians can come alongside our gay brothers and sisters and show them love in their journey with God.  If anyone in the Seattle area is interested in being a part of this, let me know!

Diet Update

So yes.  I’m still doing the low-carb thing, and I have to say, I’m totally loving it.  So far I’ve lost about 14 (almost 15!) pounds, and I’m averaging about a pound a week.  The best part of this is that my wardrobe has practically doubled now that I’m finally fitting back into so many old clothes that were too tight after I had Harris.  There was one week where I finally fit back into about four pairs of pants that had been sitting in my closet all at once, and I just couldn’t believe how much my clothing options had totally grown.   I’m finally a couple of pounds underneath my pre-pregnancy weight (which was a little higher than I had liked it anyway), and everything beyond is this I’m considering bonus.  Since I’m still enjoying the way I’m eating and am still very motivated about my work-out, this feels very maintainable for me long-term, so I’m kinda curious how my body composition will continue to change.

What I’m eating on a daily basis is still pretty much the same as it has been when I started this about, oh, 5-6 months ago, and it’s become pretty normal and easy for me.  For breakfast every morning I eat two eggs with a lot of butter (got burned-out on scrambled, lately I’m loving fried) and coffee with cream.  For lunch I usually have a big salad, almost always consisting of a whole avocado and whatever other vegetables are lying around, and my homemade balsamic vinaigrette (just olive oil and balsamic vinegar), heavy on the dressing.  For dinner it’s usually a pretty standard meat of some sort with one or two vegetable sides that I cook in lots of butter or olive oil.  I don’t really snack anymore because I’m just not hungry for it, but if I do want one, it’s usually an apple with some almond butter.  Oh, and I’ve been experimenting with smoothies lately (inspired by this helpful post on making Primal smoothies) and have been mixing-up things like peanut or almond butter, avocado, yogurt/milk/or coconut milk, cocoa powder, spinach, and stevia.  You can’t taste the avocado, it just makes it smooth, and the chocolate/banana/nut butter combo is awesome.

I’m still having a hard time with the sweets, although I’m a lot better than I was.  Anytime you’re trying to lose weight, no matter what type of diet you’re on, ya gotta cut the sugar.  I do eat bread every once in awhile, particularly for the occasional grilled-cheese sandwich, but generally cutting-out the grains just isn’t that hard for me.  It’s the sugar that’s killing me.  I don’t really have physical sugar cravings anymore, it’s just mental.  Like after dinner… I know I’m not hungry at all (whereas before I started this diet I used to be hungry about two hours after dinner every single night), but I still feel like I NEED something sweet.   Sometimes I can distract myself until bedtime and sometimes I get a small something.  Lately I’ve been eating a small bowl of stevia-sweetened plain yogurt and that does it for me.  Or a glass of wine does a great job, too.  In fact, for awhile there I was still eating a dessert-type treat a few times a week and losing weight, but I’ve cut that out in the past couple of weeks and noticed that I seemed to immediately drop a couple of pounds.  However.  I have to admit.  I told Clay tonight that I was fondly remembering our old habit of making a batch of cookie dough and then eating it out of the bowl every night that week.  (I know!  How awful is that?!)  I really miss chocolate chip cookie dough.  So sometime soon, I’m totally gonna get a big spoon and go to town on a bowl of cookie dough, diet be damned!

So yeah, other than the occasional need for a sugar binge, this diet is really working for me.  I think the main reason is that for me, hunger has always been the culprit keeping me from losing weight.  I know now that much of my hunger was a legitimate physical reaction from insulin levels that were fluctuating all over the place from my high-carbohydrate/sugar diet, and by removing the stimulus, my hunger is completely different than it used to be.  Before, I would get hungry about two hours after a meal.  By three or four hours (if I had actually made it that long without snacking), I had that hollow, empty, I’m going-to-die-if-I-don’t-eat-right-now feeling in my stomach.  Several times a day.  Now, I start to feel kind of “not full” a couple hours after eating.  Then slowly, almost imperceptibly, my hunger gradually grows little by little until about 5-6 hours after a meal I’m like, “Yeah, I could eat.  I guess I’m actually kind of hungry.  It’s probably time to eat.”  Completely different experience for me, one that means that my life actually revolves around food way less than before I was trying to lose weight, oddly enough.  My hunger isn’t controlling my day, I’m not spending hours standing with the refrigerator door open thinking, “Oh gosh, I just ate two hours ago, I should really hold out longer, but I’m STARVING!!!”  For me, this is victory.  Weight loss is just a bonus.

I’m still doing my Body by Science workouts at the local YMCA, and I really enjoy it.  Here’s why I enjoy it:  I go once or twice a week.  It takes me about 15 minutes.  I’m seeing results.  That’s it.  Yep–that’s it.  (I use the rest of my allocated childcare time after my work-out to read a book and enjoy the free time!)  I only do five exercises on machines: row, shoulder press, lat. pull-down, chest press, and leg press.  And I only do one set of each exercise.  The difference is that I lift a ton more weight than I used to back when I thought it was a great idea to do several sets of 15 reps.  I lift heavy enough to where I can only do around 7-10 reps. and I’m at muscle failure by that point…. as in, I’m pushing the bar and it won’t go anywhere because my muscles are so shot.  The intensity is so much higher than anything I’ve done before that my muscles need much more time to rest in order to grow, hence only doing it once or twice a week.  I’m excited to see that I’m starting to notice some baby muscles appearing and as Clay will tell you, I’ve gotten a little obsessed with flexing in the mirror.  Ha!!!  Of course it’s nothing impressive, but I didn’t really have much going for me before I started this routine, so I’m kinda fascinated by the muscles I have gained!  (Oh, and yeah… that whole thing about women needing to lift lighter weights for more reps so they won’t get bulky?  Yeah, that’s totally a myth with no basis in basic physiology.  The majority of women don’t have what it takes to get bulky, and muscle has less mass than fat, so the more muscle you gain by lifting heavy things, the less room it takes up, which means the smaller you get.)  So I’m really enjoying what I’m doing, mostly because it doesn’t take-up very much time and I’m seeing results.  Oh, and I’m doing no cardio—yes, NO cardio.  I hate cardio, so I’m happy.

I was just remembering the last time I was in a weight-loss craze which was right before I got married.  Friends will remember this weight-loss plan that I titled “Project Sex.”  For about six months I worked my BUTT off.  I spent about 1.5-2 hrs. in the gym for about 5-6 days a week.  I remember that I would do 25 minutes of the elliptical machine, then run (ok, it was just an awkward jog!) for 45 minutes on the treadmill, and then do weights.  I changed my eating habits by trying to eat smaller portions, and thankfully I had roommates who cooked me healthy food.  But I do remember having a lot of standing in front of the open pantry while starving moments.  Much of it was simply training myself to be ok with feeling hungry all the time… because I was hungry all the time.  I lost weight, I think about 12 pounds or so, and I looked good.  (I started at a much lower weight than I did this time, so 12 pounds later, I was MUCH smaller than I am now!)  I think about that and compare it to my experience now, and it’s just funny to me.  Because what I’m doing now just really isn’t that hard for me.  I’m still eating lots of rich, satisfying foods that feel indulgent (Hollandaise sauce anyone?), I’m never hungry, and although my workouts are intense, I’m spending about 30 minutes per week max on them.  And I’ve lost almost 15 pounds.  Not that it’s super easy to change your eating habits, it’s taken effort to learn about the science behind what I’m doing and retrain my mind and food expectations… but seriously, compared to last time I lost a chunk of weight, this is just not really that hard.  (and I’m so glad because seriously, there’s no way to spend that much time at the gym when you have kids!)

So that’s it.  I’m just keeping on with what I’ve been doing, and it’s working-out great for me and feels really sustainable for the long-term.  (other than my necessary sugar binges!)  I’m planning for my next post to be about “common misconceptions about a low-carb diet” that just plain aren’t true, so if you have some questions about how this will affect my heart health or whether or not my body needs grains, etc…, hopefully that will answer some questions.  Although, if you have any specific questions, leave me a comment and I’ll try to make sure to answer it in the next post.

Uncovering Our Hidden Misogyny

Just stumbled across this and thought it was a great starting point for some really important ideas.  It’s a relatively brief video with a lot of important commentary in the area of both the Church and society when it comes to how women are treated.

I thought one of the most important parts of the discussion was at the end when we were encouraged to examine our own hearts for hidden contempt toward others.  All sexism or negative treatment of a group of people begins in our own heart.  Look for it, be open to letting others point it out, and be honest in how it affects the way you feel about others.

Uncovering Our Hidden Misogyny