So I have a cold, and apparently I gave it to Evelyne. It started-out pretty mild, just a couple of coughs and sneezes, but by last night she was getting kinda sick. I was feeling awful as well since I had more or less been awake since 2 a.m. the night before, save a couple of 20-30 minute chunks of sleep. So by the time I put Harris down for the night yesterday, I had told myself that I was going to lie down on the couch and take the short nap I had been craving ALL day and hadn’t been able to get. So I flipped the tv onto a “Toddler’s Music” channel, told Ev I was going to take a nap for a few minutes, and tried to sleep. After a minute, I looked up and saw her just sitting there in a daze, so I asked her if she wanted to come up on the couch with me.
She climbed-up and nestled in the space between my body and the back of the couch with her head lying on my chest. And then we just lied there like that, listening to the music, for about 15 minutes. I think she had a little bit of a fever because she normally doesn’t lie so still for so long, but I was loving it. In fact, it was probably one of the sweetest moments I’ve ever had with her. After a long, exhausting day, it was just what I needed. I kept thinking of how fast she’s growing-up and how much bigger she’s getting, in a few years we won’t be able to do this, or at least she probably won’t want to. I asked God to burn this memory into my brain so that I’ll never forget this moment. It was one of those times when I just knew that one day when I’m old and she’s old, and maybe she’s even a mother or grandmother, I’m going to remember her tiny body lying across mine so still and quiet. And no matter how big or old she is, I’m going to miss her babyness and long to hold her again like that.
Then she sat up and we started talking a little bit. She lifted-up my shirt and started pressing on my belly, just playing around. She found my belly button and started playing with it, and then she said with the most amazed look on her face, “Mommy!!! It’s soooo big!!!!” (My postpartum belly button isn’t quite back to normal!!!) I started dying laughing, and then she started laughing, and it was just the funniest and sweetest moment.
I’m really gonna miss this age when it’s gone.