So I’ve already started writing two different posts that I never finished and probably never will. (FYI, one was entitled, “My poor aching boobs”, so that might give you a clue as to how this past week has been!)
Let’s see… Lots and lots and lots of nursing. Boobs aren’t aching anymore, but they are spending most of the day out of my shirt as opposed to under it. (And in case you were wondering, yes, I will be that kind of blogger that will talk about realities of bearing a child like sore boobs!) He definitely spent the first four or five days constantly attached to the boob… and I don’t just mean feeding very frequently, I mean feeding for almost all of the minutes of the day. But once my milk came-in and I finally caved on the paci, he’s calmed down a bit. (A bit.)
A good bit of crying. Harris has a real set of lungs. At almost every single diaper change he screams bloody murder and turns red and looks like his little head is about to pop-off his body. He’s not such a fan of not being held all the time, so unless he’s conked-out completely, there is usually a very loud cry soon after I dare to set him in the swing. He quickly goes from zero to hysterical in no time flat.
Evelyne has been wonderful. She did spend her first few days as a big sister being played with by my parents, and yesterday was our first day alone once my parents had gone home and Clay went back to work. Yesterday was exhausting. She was wanting my attention and for me to be engaged in playing with her all the time, much more so than usual. Today she was closer to being back to her usual self, happy to play and sing to herself for good stretches of time. She’s had a few random incidents that I chalk up to adjustment (waking-up at night, a couple of small tantrums), but really, she’s been awesome.
It’s been a challenging week. I think I had in my head that Harris was going to be this angel baby who never fussed, and that’s definitely NOT the case. I’m trying to not think negatively that it’s just going to get worse… but what if it just keeps getting worse? Does anyone have any stories of how their newborns were a fussy, crying mess the first few weeks and then quickly grew out of it? So far the tiredness has been manageable, but we were definitely up every hour and a half last night, so hopefully he’ll stretch that out a little bit in the coming weeks because that’s a grueling pace to keep.
I will say that having Evelyne has helped me to think positively about the coming year. When she was a crying, screaming, annoying baby, I had nothing to look forward to. I had no idea what it’d be like to have a sweet and wonderful toddler that I would love to hang-out with. I knew it was supposed to get better, but I didn’t know how. So now when I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by the newborn demands of Harris, I think to myself, “If I can just get through the next few months, he’s going to emerge just as wonderful and precious as Evelyne, and we’re going to have double the blessing that she is.” That has helped me press-on, to remember that he’s going to have a unique personality emerge just like she did, and though there were many sleepless and frustrating times with her, it was all worth it. So I’m guessing this will all be worth it, too.