So I’m currently 37 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Change is a’comin’.
I guess I haven’t really blogged much lately about the pregnancy, but it’s definitely something that I’m thinking about almost constantly, especially as the end draws near. Since I was induced with Evelyne before I’d even had one contraction, the experience of spontaneously going into labor is brand new to me. I kinda feel like a first-time mom in that respect. Even when I was in labor with her, I only had contractions for a few hours before I got my epidural, and since I was waking-up from an Ambien-induced sleep and had Stadol on top of that, I was kinda out of it anyway. This time there won’t be any calmly walking into the hospital to be hooked-up to an IV (unless there’s some sort of problem or something), we’re going for the more classic, “Honey…it’s time.” scenario.
I’ve been having more Braxton-Hicks contractions over the past couple of weeks (I didn’t even experience having those at all with Evelyne), so I can tell things are gearing-up. Last night I woke-up at 3:30 a.m. with really painful cramps. They didn’t feel like contractions because my belly wasn’t getting tight and there wasn’t a beginning or an end, it was just a constant cramp. But every women’s experience is a little different, so part of me was a little concerned that it could be the early stages of labor. As much as I’ve been so excited about this coming, I realized, “Oh my gosh, I’m a little freaked-out and scared right now!” I got-up for awhile and they were gone within an hour, so it was nothing to worry about, but the reality check of what could have been happening really sobered me. I think I’d prefer to go into labor during the day, there was just something so weird and nerve-wracking about going to sleep like normal and then waking-up to the possibility of your entire life changing very soon.
So who knows if it’ll be another day or another few weeks before little Jones makes an appearance, but either way, Clay and I are a little more tuned into reality after last night. I’ve continued reading more books about natural childbirth (my favorite being Active Birth by Janet Balaskas), and although I’m still a bit nervous about what it’ll be like, I’m finding myself getting more and more excited about the experience. I love that it’ll be totally different from Evelyne’s birth and that that will be something unique and special in my relationship with this child. I love that even though I may scream and cry and want to die, I’ll be living the same experience of billions of women who have gone before me. I love that barring any complications, I’ll be experiencing birth in the way God designed my body to function. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t have this whole experience totally romanticized or anything, but I do feel very positive and hopeful that no matter how yucky it might be in the moment, it will be a life-changing experience that will grow me in so many ways.
As for now, my midwife said the baby is in a perfect position, everything looks great, my belly is getting bigger (I’m feelin’ kinda huge these days), and I’m hyper-aware of any little change or weirdness my body does. There are still several things that we need to get from the store… not really any essentials other than diapers (ehh, like those are important?) and I need to find my breast pump (who knows where that thing is after our move!), but I guess we’re pretty much ready. I guess…?