I feel like I’m always tired these days. Of course, I am pregnant, so that does have something to do with it, but I’m in my second trimester now, so it’s not l’m in the early weeks. I’m tired because I am foolish and undisciplined and ridiculous when it comes to going to bed at a decent time at night!!!! Lately Evelyne has been waking-up around 7 or so (which is way late compared to the early hours she used to keep), so it’s not too hard to get a pretty good chunk of sleep when I don’t wake-up before 7 on most mornings. However, I can’t seem to make myself turn-out the lights!
I start moaning to Clay around 9:30 about how tired I am, but inevitably at 11:15 I’m still reading or talking and he’s telling me “Turn the lights out!!!!!” I love sleep, but for as long as I can remember, I’ve hated going to bed at night. I think it’s because I’m afraid I’ll miss something. I remember being about four years old and lying awake at night unable to go to sleep and hearing the tv that my parents were watching from the other room and thinking to myself that there was something incredibly fun and exciting happening outside of my dark bedroom. Even now, when my eyes are heavy and I’m yawning and miserably exhausted, I still have to read one more page because I don’t want to miss anything. (like it won’t be there in the morning!)
So, I’ve been getting around 7-7.5 hours of sleep. Which is actually pretty decent for most people, maybe it’s because I’m pregnant that it’s just totally not enough. When I wake-up in the morning I feel like crap, and an hour later I’m half-asleep on the couch. It takes me about four hours to completely wake-up, and I’ve taken a nap during Evelyne’s naptime almost every day for the past three months. I feel so awful that I tell myself and Clay, “Tonight I’m going to bed EARLY!!! Early, I say!!! Don’t try to talk me into staying up! Nothing could interest me past 10 p.m.!!!” And then come 11:30 I’m kicking myself and doing it all over again.
What’s the deal, am I the only one in this? Even right now, it’s 9:45, I’m yawning and tired, but I’m about to have a cup of decaf and I know I’ll probably be awake for at least another hour or two.
I need sleep therapy.