OK, here’s the big, bad, taboo truth: Sometimes being a stay-at-home mom bores me to tears. Boring with a capital B. Not all the time, not every day… it comes and goes. But when it comes, it’s mind-numbing. I know that’s probably incredibly insulting to other stay-at-home moms and an affront to working moms who would like a chance to slow down….but sorry, it’s just the truth for me right now in this season of motherhood.
This sounds silly, but I spend a lot of time thinking, “What is it that makes other moms so dang busy?” I mean, obviously, if you have more than one child, things get busier. And it depends on the child’s age. Evelyne is 19 months now. Sometimes she’s really clingy and whiney, but I would say in general she plays really well by herself and can be entertained for long periods of time in her own imagination. Of course I interact with her and read her books and sing songs and act silly, but she doesn’t really need me sitting on the floor trying to play with her. She doesn’t seem to care, and I certainly don’t have a desire to spend any length of time playing baby dolls. (not to mention she’s so young that she doesn’t do anything with them other than carry them around and pretend to give them a bottle) So what do I do?
Don’t get me wrong, I would say that I’m a pretty attentive mother in that when she needs me, I’m there. If she wants me to pick her up, I pick her up. If she wants me to rock her baby, I rock her baby. If she wants me to read a book, I read a book. There’s just a lot of the time that she doesn’t really care what I do, as long as I’m in the same room with her. Soooo, other than cooking meals, keeping her entertained, putting her to sleep, cleaning, etc… What am I supposed to be doing? (of course there could always be more cleaning thrown in there, but honestly how much more time is that going to take-up, and that doesn’t really solve my problem since I hate cleaning.)
Obviously, I blog and read and do other things online. I read books. I watch tv. I meet-up with friends, although not as much as I would like, and that’s about to drastically change in about a week when I move and don’t even have friends anymore. I try to take her to the sprinkler park about once a week or so since I refuse to go to the regular park in this heat….well, I just hate getting out in it at all, so walks outside and random little outdoors jaunts are OUT until we move to a cooler climate. I feel like I’m engaging my brain in worthwhile endeavors, I’m being challenged mentally and spiritually by what I’m reading and my relationships, and I’m growing. In a lot of ways I feel blessed that I’m afforded so much time to study and read anything I want to, part of that is heaven for me. And most days I’m great with it. But then come the times when I have a long afternoon stretched ahead of me, the tv is giving me a headache, Evelyne’s playing quietly by herself, it’s 100 degrees outside, I’m bored with reading anything on the Internet, I don’t have a book to read…. what am I missing here? Am I supposed to just sit on the couch and watch her play?
As you can tell, I’m not very self-motivated, and I’m definitely NOT a type A person that is always busy with something and gets stressed-out if everything isn’t perfect. In fact, I’m completely comfortable amidst chaos. I’m not one of those people that beebops around looking for things to do and keeps busy by wiping every speck of dust off the floor. No thank you.
So, if you’re a stay-at-home mom and not a cleaning fanatic and you don’t have a ton of kids, what do you do all day? And yes, I realize that this is a short season in my life that is about to get crazier once this new baby gets here. And I LOVE being a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t have any kind of fulfilling career before having Evelyne, so there’s no part of me that desires to go out and find a job, and I’m completely aware of what a blessing it is to be able to stay home. Please don’t understand me to be unappreciative. Every job has it perks and its downfalls, and this is one of mine. So what am I missing? Is it like this for everyone or is there some mothering activity that I haven’t caught onto yet?