Barely a month to go

I haven’t written much here about one of the biggest changes that we are about to make—in July, just a little over a month, we are moving from Memphis to Seattle.  Clay found an amazing job as a physical therapist out there, and he’s going to have the opportunity to pursue a fellowship in his specialization that he couldn’t do if we stayed here.  I’ve never been to Seattle.  The first time I’ll see it will be when I’m flying-in to stay.  This is something we’ve talked about doing for about a year now.  There have been lots of conversations, tears, research, and planning put into this.  But now that we’re so close, I’m starting to get nervous.

I don’t know anyone in Seattle.  Thankfully, we have an idea of where we’d like to go to church when we get there, but of course that’s not a sure thing yet.  I’m a pregnant stay-at-home mom, and Clay is going to be working four 10-hour days Monday through Thursday.  I’m nervous about what it’s going to be like to be cooped-up at home in an unfamiliar place.  I’m not one of those people who gets really excited about finding my way around a new place and exploring all the fun opportunities.  Or rather, it’s hard for me to be self-motivated about things like that.  (And I have no sense of direction, so I’m sure I’ll get lost anytime I try to be adventurous and discover my new city!)  I’m kinda introverted, so depending on the situation it can be a big step out of my comfort zone to have to meet new people….especially when those new people will have to be my new best friends.   I struggled with postpartum depression after Evelyne was born and had a really rough few months in the beginning.  I’m really nervous that the same thing will happen with this new baby, although I won’t have family to lean-on.  Hopefully we’ll have friends by that point, but who knows?  (although I told Clay that if I need to, I’ll go on medication so fast it’ll make his head spin, so at least I’ll have that going for me!) 

Right now we’re looking around at everything we’re leaving behind and asking ourselves if this is really the best thing.  We’re leaving all of our family that we’re very close to.  We’re leaving dear friends with whose lives we are closely intertwined.  We are leaving probably the best church we’ve ever been a part of… one whose potential is staggering to me.  We are leaving behind precious nieces and our friends’ children who we wish Evelyne could grow-up with.  She’s just now starting to know their names and ask for them and hug them when she sees them.  It’s hard to think that we’re taking her away from a childhood surrounded by family and friends who are like family.  

And we’re moving toward…….?  A really amazing career opportunity for Clay.  One that puts him several years ahead of where he would be if we didn’t go.  A beautiful area of the country.  Mountains.  Rain.  Potential for a major life change.  I pray we’re moving toward new friends who will be like family.  The future is wide open and pretty scary.  

I’m reminded a lot of how I felt six years ago before moving to California by myself for school.  I was scared and didn’t know a soul and really wasn’t even sure if I was doing the right thing.  I had no idea why I was there or what brought me.  But the time I was out there were two of the best years of my life that radically transformed who I am.  I can’t imagine who I would be without the friendships and learning opportunities and even the homesickness and confusion that I experienced there.  So right now I’m trying to remind myself that Seattle has the potential to be an even bigger experience that will change my life for the better and take us as a family to new depths and challenging places.  

Clay and his dad start the cross-country drive on July 6th, and I fly-out with Ev on July 11th.  I’ll update on our progress until then.  I pray God gives us courage.

 

“So I settled here, and that is that, for You to show me who I am.  You had to take me to a place I’d never been.  And all the things I dreaded most about the things unseen have now become the sweetest part of me.”

-Watermark