So the more I think about it, the more I’m realizing that this blog scares me. A big reason why I’ve put-off doing it is because part of me is really afraid of voicing my thoughts. I’m not really concerned with the concept of the Internet reading my inmost thoughts….it’s more the idea of people I actually KNOW reading my thoughts.
I tend to be pretty non-confrontational (unless I’m super comfortable with you), and I only voice a dissenting opinion if I feel it’s necessary or important. Even still, I hate it. I hate disagreeing with people. Depending on the situation, sometimes I have a hard time separating the ideas from the people I’m talking to, and that makes me not want to disagree openly with an idea presented because I don’t want it to be this THING between us. (even though some people couldn’t care less, it’s not personal, it’s just a concept)
So, if I blog….and it’s an honest blog about what I think and believe and feel…. that kinda means that anyone in my life has free access to my inner world. Even if it’s someone that I would not speak those things outloud to in every day life. Hmmm….awkward. But that’s kinda the point in some ways, I need to let go of the opinions of others about me and just worry about being authentic and true before God. I think this will be an ongoing challenge and lesson for me in letting-go and taking initiative and living with an open heart.