Post-baby fog

So I’ve already started writing two different posts that I never finished and probably never will.  (FYI, one was entitled, “My poor aching boobs”, so that might give you a clue as to how this past week has been!)

Let’s see…  Lots and lots and lots of nursing.  Boobs aren’t aching anymore, but they are spending most of the day out of my shirt as opposed to under it.  (And in case you were wondering, yes, I will be that kind of blogger that will talk about realities of bearing a child like sore boobs!)  He definitely spent the first four or five days constantly attached to the boob… and I don’t just mean feeding very frequently, I mean feeding for almost all of the minutes of the day.  But once my milk came-in and I finally caved on the paci, he’s calmed down a bit.  (A bit.)

A good bit of crying.  Harris has a real set of lungs.  At almost every single diaper change he screams bloody murder and turns red and looks like his little head is about to pop-off his body.  He’s not such a fan of not being held all the time, so unless he’s conked-out completely, there is usually a very loud cry soon after I dare to set him in the swing.  He quickly goes from zero to hysterical in no time flat.  

Evelyne has been wonderful.  She did spend her first few days as a big sister being played with by my parents, and yesterday was our first day alone once my parents had gone home and Clay went back to work.  Yesterday was exhausting.  She was wanting my attention and for me to be engaged in playing with her all the time, much more so than usual.  Today she was closer to being back to her usual self, happy to play and sing to herself for good stretches of time.  She’s had a few random incidents that I chalk up to adjustment (waking-up at night, a couple of small tantrums), but really, she’s been awesome.  

It’s been a challenging week.  I think I had in my head that Harris was going to be this angel baby who never fussed, and that’s definitely NOT the case.  I’m trying to not think negatively that it’s just going to get worse… but what if it just keeps getting worse?  Does anyone have any stories of how their newborns were a fussy, crying mess the first few weeks and then quickly grew out of it?  So far the tiredness has been manageable, but we were definitely up every hour and a half last night, so hopefully he’ll stretch that out a little bit in the coming weeks because that’s a grueling pace to keep.  

I will say that having Evelyne has helped me to think positively about the coming year.  When she was a crying, screaming, annoying baby, I had nothing to look forward to.  I had no idea what it’d be like to have a sweet and wonderful toddler that I would love to hang-out with.  I knew it was supposed to get better, but I didn’t know how.  So now when I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by the newborn demands of Harris, I think to myself, “If I can just get through the next few months, he’s going to emerge just as wonderful and precious as Evelyne, and we’re going to have double the blessing that she is.”  That has helped me press-on, to remember that he’s going to have a unique personality emerge just like she did, and though there were many sleepless and frustrating times with her, it was all worth it.  So I’m guessing this will all be worth it, too.

Harrison “Harris” Taylor Jones

Well, when he decided that he was ready to come, he came and he came FAST!  This morning at 3:30 I felt my first contraction, and at 6:25 little Harris was born.  I did almost all of my laboring at home and arrived at the Birth Center about 20 minutes before he came out.  (It would’ve been much easier if I had just had a homebirth, I’m sure that’s probably what we’ll do next time.)  Clay had the priviledge of catching him as he was born, and we were all a little surprised by his thick black hair!!!  He weighs 8 lbs. 6 oz., is 22 inches long and looks like a dark-headed boy version of newborn Evelyne!  As the day has gone-on, we’ve been more and more amazed at how MUCH he looks like Ev!!!

We stayed at the Birth Center for almost four hours after he was born for them to examine Harris and me and make sure everything looked ok.  He actually had a bit of an irregular heartbeat for awhile, and though the midwife thought it was something that was just a part of transitioning out of the womb and would resolve itself, she recommended we make an appointment with a pediatrician this afternoon.  After lots more monitoring his heartbeat, the concensus was that the irregularity was gone after just a couple of hours and there was no need to take him to the pediatrician.  (It was also nice that my mom and dad, who are a doctor and a NICU nurse, were there to listen and offer their opinion as well.)  So we all arrived back at home this morning around 10 a.m., ready to start our new life as a family of four!

The whole experience was incredibly surreal, especially since it was SO fast!  (I had been expecting and praying for a quick labor, but I had been hoping for, say, six hours, not three!!!  I had no expectation it would be THAT fast!)  I’m feeling great, just a tad bit sore and slow, but I had no episiotomy or tearing, so it’s amazing how much better I feel after this birth than after Evelyne’s.  (Even though he’s a pound and a half bigger!)  He’s been nursing great (better than Evelyne at this stage) and sleeping all day.  I’ve already taken two catnaps and have enjoyed having a whole day at home to get to know my new baby.  I’m still processing everything and trying to wrap my mind around what just happened, and I’ll definitely post a more detailed birth story as soon as possible.  Here are a few pictures!

40 Weeks

So this is what it looks like to reach your due date and not have a baby in your arms.

Everything is ready, we just finished setting-up the pack-n-play next to our bed… my mom is here to watch Evelyne, and my dad is flying-in tomorrow.  Diapers are ready, clothes are washed, and my bag is (mostly) packed.  No impending labor signs yet, so we’ll see when this baby decides to make an appearance.  Hopefully it will be soon!!!!!

HOT TOPIC: What’s harder, marriage or parenthood?

OK, I admit, I totally stole this topic from another blog discussion that happened at Momversation.com.  (This is a website where some super-funny and outspoken mommy bloggers get together and have a virtual discussion on provoking topics related to family life and parenthood.  Pretty funny stuff, you should check it out.)  Then it was relayed in more detail on Heather Armstrong’s blog.  (One of my all-time favorite bloggers, probably the first one I ever started to read.)  Heather had a different experience from the other moms, and mine correlates with hers, so I thought it’d be an interesting topic to bring-up and discuss on here.

So.  In your experience, what has been harder, being a wife/husband or being a parent?  I think this question is going to look totally different for every person depending on the kind of relationship you have with your spouse and the kind of kids you have.  I have learned that temperament is EVERYTHING.  Some people are madly in love with their spouse but realize that they are complete opposites in almost every way.  That kind of relationship will almost certainly take a little bit more work than the couple who shares most of their likes and dislikes and who have a similar personality.  I’m also guessing that the mom whose baby never cried and slept 8 hours a night by six weeks old might have a bit of a different perspective than the one whose baby still isn’t sleeping through the night and screams all day long.  So it’s not like there’s a “right” answer, but I think it’s a thought-provoking question and I’d love to hear your experience.

As for me, being a wife has been ten times easier than being a mom.  Clay and I are one of those blessed couples whose relationship, generally speaking, comes pretty easily.  Although we have our issues and we’ve definitely argued more and more as the years have gone on, from the begining we both characterized our relationship as just coming very easily and naturally.  In general, it’s just really easy for us to get along and be happy together.  (I just realized how many times I just said “easy,” don’t hate me!)  Of course we have certain things that need work and recurring issues that pop-up every now and then… But we’re both pretty laid-back, and we’re just a great match.  (This doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t love for me to be more into sports and outdoorsy stuff and I wouldn’t like for him to read more of the books I love!)

On the other hand, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned a million times before, our adjustment to parenthood was pretty rough for awhile.  Evelyne was colicky, I had a bit of PPD, and Clay was super-worried for me.  And we were just. so. tired.  The first six months sucked, the second six months was better, but by the time she turned 1, we had our own little groove going and were totally in love with our three-person family.  I loved Evelyne from the beginning, but she was a demanding little booger, and like Heather Armstrong said, if you went on a date with a guy who screamed at you for hours on end, you wouldn’t go out with him again!  But when it’s your daughter, ya just gotta give her the boob.  My marriage was a rock for both of us when we were totally freaked-out and tired of taking care of a fussy baby.  We used to fondly talk about how in another 25 or so years down the road we’d be empty-nesters again when our kids went to college, and oh, what a wonderful life it will be when it’s just us again!  Clay was a wonderful partner to be on a parenting team with, and our marriage grew a lot as we learned to rely on each other for parenting tasks like getting-up in the middle of the night, taking turns rocking a crying baby, and giving the other person a turn to take a nap.  I actually fell more in love with him and our marriage got stronger as we both suffered through wondering if we made the right decision to do this whole baby thing.

Now, of course, we’re both obsessed with Evelyne and regularly sit around and talk about how wondeful she is and how she’s the best little girl that God ever created and we wish that she would never grow-up and leave us.  We would never want to live our lives without her, and I’m still in that mom-about-to-have-a-second-baby place of wondering how I’m going to love another baby as much as I love her.  So yeah, the adjustment period has resolved itself.  But still.  In general, I think being with Clay is easier than being with Evelyne much of the time.  He doesn’t yell and whine at me to make him food that he then won’t even take one bite of before declaring that he wants to color with his new markers as he strips-off all of his clothing.  Nope, we’ve still got that whole give and take conversation thing going-on that makes marriage easier for me than being a mom.  At this stage of our lives.  I realize that every stage will present its own complications, and I’m sure there will be several seasons of our lives ahead in which our marriage will take every ounce of resolve and sacrifice that we have in us to keep it together, and loving my kids will be a heck of a lot easier.  (And there definitely are days where it’s like that!)

So for right now being a wife is much easier than being a mom.  What about you?

Our (sorta) last day

I was just rocking Evelyne for her nap, and all of a sudden I realized that today is my last day alone with her.  Clay is snowboarding with some friends from work today, and my mom is flying-in tomorrow to be here when the baby is born.  After today, my mom is going to be here, it won’t be just Ev and me.  Which, of course, is perfectly fine and I’m excited for her to come, but it just made me kinda sad to realize that it’s like the end of an era.  For two years it’s been mainly just the two of us during the day.  She’s my sidekick, we’re buddies.  Today is the last official day of that.  After today there’s going to always be someone else here, whether it be my parents or the baby.  Clay and I realized last night while we were eating dinner that it was probably the last official dinner for just the three of us.  It’s exciting, but also sobering and kinda sad.  We’ve had a good run.

 Evelyne has really turned into such a fantastic little kid.  (Not like I’m that surprised, but we definitely had a few months in the beginning where I wasn’t so sure….)  Clay and I have been getting sentimental and noticing lately that she’s really just so great.  Although she definitely has her moments (as all kids do… and I would say much of it is more about me having MY moments!), overall she’s a happy, funny, obedient, entertaining, loving little girl.  We don’t take too much credit for that since much of it is just the personality and temperament she’s been given, but it is a bit reassuring to realize that we have to be doing at least something right!   She is just the sweetest little blessing, and I can’t wait to see how much she loves being a big sister.  (I think she’s really gonna get a kick out of it!)