I have a doula!

So some of you might be wondering, “what the heck is a doula?”  

Well, according to DONA International, “A birth doula is a person trained and experienced in childbirth who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after childbirth.”  Or as my midwife put it, “It’s like having your mom there without the emotional baggage.”  Basically, a doula is someone whose sole purpose is to focus on the mom during labor and attend to her physical and emotional comfort.  Her job isn’t to replace the dad or other family members but to add another voice and presence of experience and reassurance.  She doesn’t have medical training, so she’s not an assistant to the doctor or midwife, but she is trained in the birth process and can offer the mom massage, ideas of comfortable laboring positions, give suggestions when needed to the dad on how to physically comfort the mom, and even act as an advocate for the mom’s wishes to the medical staff.  

Clinical studies have shown that the presence of a doula 

• tends to result in shorter labors with fewer complications
• reduces negative feelings about one’s childbirth experience
• reduces the need for pitocin (a labor-inducing drug), forceps or vacuum extraction
• reduces the requests for pain medication and epidurals, as well as the incidence of cesareans

When a doula is present during and after childbirth, women report greater satisfaction with their birth experience, make more positive assessments of their babies, have fewer cesareans and requests for medical intervention, and less postpartum depression.

Studies have shown that babies born with doulas present tend to have shorter hospital stays with fewer admissions to special care nurseries, breastfeed more easily and have more affectionate mothers in the postpartum period.

 

I wasn’t planning-on having a doula at my birth simply because here in Washington their services can run upwards of a thousand bucks!  (give or take a few hundred)  But at my last midwife appointment I told her that although I had done a lot of reading and research about the birth process, Clay and I haven’t taken any childbirth classes, and I asked her if she thought that was just plain stupid.  She said that it wasn’t stupid since women have been having babies for thousands of years without childbirth classes, but of course it would have helped.  Then she recommended a doula.  She’s been a midwife for quite some time, I believe, and yet she said she had a doula present at the births of all of her children.  She said that I could probably find someone willing to do it for free since there are always people who are working toward their certification and need the experience, and they often have people calling the birth center and offering their services to any moms who need them.

 She put me in touch with the right people, I found a lady who helps coordinate a doula association in the area and she bent over backward to help me find someone.  So far I’ve talked to three people, and tonight we had our first interview with one of them.  She was awesome!  She looks like she’s actually probably around my age, which I wasn’t really expecting, but she was very professional and knowledgeable and works full-time as a doula.  (Which makes it amazing that she’s willing to do this for free, she said it’s because she just loves my midwife and the experience of helping a delivery at the birthing center as a change of pace from all of the hospital births she typically has…..And it’s amazing that she actually had a slot available for me since she’s almost booked through July!)  We talked for about an hour and a half, and I feel like we really clicked.  

She also had the funniest effect on Evelyne—normally Ev’s a little reserved around strangers, she usually won’t even look at them or talk to them for the first little while.  She eventually warms-up after about 20 minutes or so, but even with people she’s known for awhile and really likes, she gets shy.  But not with the doula!  Ev spent the entire time acting like we were all there to just watch her be cute.  She was singing every song she knew, dancing, doing every trick she knows how to do, and even making loud noises just so the doula would look at her!  We’ve never seen her react in such an immediate positive way to anybody, even family members!  It was hilarious!  

Anyway, so I’m super-excited.  I can call the doula as soon as I feel like I’m in labor and she’ll come to my house to be with me.  She’ll also be a big assistance in helping us decide when it’s time to go to the birth center.  Even just knowing she’s going to be there with us makes me feel so much more confident that this will be a positive experience.  As much as I need Clay there, he’s never gone through this either, so knowing that it won’t be just the two of us figuring this thing out is great.  She’s not there to usurp his role but to assist him in how to help me in the best possible way.  In addition, if a complication arises and we have to be transferred to the hospital, she will be with me the whole way and act as my advocate in situations where I would make decisions that differ from typical hospital protocol.  (delayed cord clamping, immediate skin-to-skin, no Hep B shot, etc…)  

Currently, I’m 38 weeks and 4 days.  My mom is coming out here on Sunday to stay for two weeks.  (Yay!)  I’m praying that I have this baby soon, and definitely before she goes home.  (I won’t be induced unless there’s a medical problem until 42 weeks, so it is possible!)  I’m getting nervous and excited… dreading the hard days and nights that I know are ahead and anticipating everything good in between.  I’m so thankful for this last-minute addition of a doula to the birth, it’s definitely been a major provision of the Lord.

Crowded Bed

I just finished another glorious afternoon nap….I’ve been taking a lot of those lately.  Actually, yesterday I took TWO naps!  I’m trying to extract every minute of free sleep that I can get before the baby gets here since I know that will be a luxury I won’t be able to often afford!  Having Clay home on the weekend is great since I can just say, “OK, I’m tired, I’m going to lie down, don’t let her eat too many crackers!”  Ah, the joys of a non-nursing child!  

Anyway, about the bed.  I was lying in bed and I looked around and noticed that we have FIVE full-size pillows in there!  Five!  Now that’s getting a little out of control.  It all started because when I’m pregnant my back hurts, especially at night when I’m lying in bed, so I started sleeping with a pillow between my knees to align my spine.  Then Clay, being the ever conscientious physical therapist, noticed that he too enjoyed keeping his back aligned and in proper position.  And as time’s gone by, we’ve both kinda graduated our leg pillows to full-out body-sprawl pillows.   So right there you’re at four pillows.  Then there’s Clay’s face pillow.  On most nights I like to lie in bed and read with a lamp on for awhile after Clay’s asleep.  So he puts a pillow over his face.  He says it’s really comfortable, I dunno, but that definitely makes for FIVE pillows in our bed every night!  Sometimes we have to practically wave at each other to say goodnight because we’re lying so far apart due to all the pillows in between us!  

Oh well, at least we’re both super comfortable!  This is also thanks to one of my Christmas presents—fleece sheets!  They are AMA—wait for it….ZING!!!!  I just want to spend all day lying in bed and moving my arms back and forth to enjoy their softness.  I don’t know how we can ever go back to regular sheets.  So yeah, even though five pillows might be a little bit of overkill, I highly recommend the comfort factor and the wonderful sheets!  Too bad I can’t spend more time in the bed.

Post-Christmas

So, we had a great first Christmas in Washington.  Very different from what we’re used to, but good nonetheless.  Before we moved here we lived within about 20 minutes of almost all of our family members, so holidays meant lots and lots of family time.  This year it was just the three of us, quite a different pace!  We did get to spend Christmas Eve with our friends Joe and Jennifer and their girls.  They cooked a fabulous dinner for us and Evelyne and their girls played, and it was a great time.  (These are Evelyne’s current favorite friends—she’s crazy about them and LOVES playing with them!)

Christmas morning Evelyne was very happy to discover a brand-new play kitchen from Santa.  I knew she would enjoy it, but I had no idea that she would play with it for every waking minute of the day!  She LOVED it!  I think her favorite part is the play ice cream cones… she takes the ice cream part off of the cone and then pours “coffee” into the cone to drink it.  (Ya think she’s used to me drinking coffee or what?)

We spent much of the day video chatting with our families via Skype.  (This has really been such a MAJOR part of us staying connected to friends and family back home.  Evelyne usually gets to talk to her grandparents at least once a week, sometimes several times, face-to-face on the computer.  I think it’s played a huge role in them being an active role in her life and her continuing to grow in those relationships.  Some friends even threw me a “virtual shower” last month, how amazing is that? We love it!)  Our families Skyped us in during present-opening, so we got to watch everyone open the gifts we sent and they got to watch us open our gifts.  It really helped us to feel like we were there and enjoying Christmas with our families.  

I kinda thought I would’ve been really sad and upset to not be in Memphis for Christmas, but I was actually really ok with it.  Of course I really missed everyone, and it was kinda odd to have such a quiet and laid-back time with just the three of us, but it was also nice.  It was exciting watching Evelyne really experience and enjoy her presents for the first time (she was too young to care last year), and I think it helped to solidify our own identity as a family unit.  My favorite gift is probably the fleece sheets Clay gave me.  They are the softest and warmest things I’ve ever slept-in, and I just want to lie in bed all day long and rub my arms and legs back and forth to experience them!  

Oh, and thank goodness the baby didn’t come at Christmas!  Now that that’s out of the way, I’m ready!!

And another thing…  it definitely snowed almost all day on Christmas!  Our first white Christmas!  The good part was that it was super-beautiful to watch.  The bad part is that we’re still almost snowed-in our own house.  The main roads are fine, but we live at the end of a cul-de-sac and all the snow has been pushed-up in heaps.  We left the house tonight for the first time in almost a week and spent about 15 minutes being stuck before Clay was able to dig us out.  Now that everything’s melting and yucky and I STILL can’t drive off my own street by myself, it’s not so pretty.  

So, it was a good Christmas.  Great long weekend.  Evelyne’s becoming a gourmet chef.  Hope the snow melts soon.  Hope the baby comes soon.

da belly– almost 38 weeks

37 Weeks

So I’m currently 37 weeks and 4 days pregnant.  Change is a’comin’.

I guess I haven’t really blogged much lately about the pregnancy, but it’s definitely something that I’m thinking about almost constantly, especially as the end draws near.   Since I was induced with Evelyne before I’d even had one contraction, the experience of spontaneously going into labor is brand new to me.  I kinda feel like a first-time mom in that respect.  Even when I was in labor with her, I only had contractions for a few hours before I got my epidural, and since I was waking-up from an Ambien-induced sleep and had Stadol on top of that, I was kinda out of it anyway.  This time there won’t be any calmly walking into the hospital to be hooked-up to an IV (unless there’s some sort of problem or something), we’re going for the more classic, “Honey…it’s time.”  scenario.  

I’ve been having more Braxton-Hicks contractions over the past couple of weeks (I didn’t even experience having those at all with Evelyne), so I can tell things are gearing-up.  Last night I woke-up at 3:30 a.m. with really painful cramps.  They didn’t feel like contractions because my belly wasn’t getting tight and there wasn’t a beginning or an end, it was just a constant cramp.  But every women’s experience is a little different, so part of me was a little concerned that it could be the early stages of labor.  As much as I’ve been so excited about this coming, I realized, “Oh my gosh, I’m a little freaked-out and scared right now!”  I got-up for awhile and they were gone within an hour, so it was nothing to worry about, but the reality check of what could have been happening really sobered me.  I think I’d prefer to go into labor during the day, there was just something so weird and nerve-wracking about going to sleep like normal and then waking-up to the possibility of your entire life changing very soon.

So who knows if it’ll be another day or another few weeks before little Jones makes an appearance, but either way, Clay and I are a little more tuned into reality after last night.  I’ve continued reading more books about natural childbirth (my favorite being Active Birth by Janet Balaskas), and although I’m still a bit nervous about what it’ll be like, I’m finding myself getting more and more excited about the experience.  I love that it’ll be totally different from Evelyne’s birth and that that will be something unique and special in my relationship with this child.  I love that even though I may scream and cry and want to die, I’ll be living the same experience of billions of women who have gone before me.  I love that barring any complications, I’ll be experiencing birth in the way God designed my body to function.  Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t have this whole experience totally romanticized or anything, but I do feel very positive and hopeful that no matter how yucky it might be in the moment, it will be a life-changing experience that will grow me in so many ways.  

As for now, my midwife said the baby is in a perfect position, everything looks great, my belly is getting bigger (I’m feelin’ kinda huge these days), and I’m hyper-aware of any little change or weirdness my body does.  There are still several things that we need to get from the store… not really any essentials other than diapers (ehh, like those are important?) and I need to find my breast pump (who knows where that thing is after our move!), but I guess we’re pretty much ready.  I guess…?

It’s the end of the world as we know it

Woke-up this morning to gorgeous snow swirling around and covering the evergreen trees in my backyard.  I raised the blinds on our big window in the living room and have been watching it all morning.  It’ll slow down for awhile and then pick back up with huge flakes that are just beautiful.  We actually have several inches on the ground, and I love it!

I’m learning that apparently Seattlites have the same reaction to a little snow that Memphians do—they freak-out.  I watched a little bit of the news last night (for the first time in months, I might add) and it was really funny.  We didn’t get any snow until last night, but I guess many parts of the areas around us got it much of yesterday.  The newscasters were doing everything they could to make this into a huge story, naming it something like HUGE DISASTER OF A BLIZZARD 2008!!!!  It wasn’t snowing in Seattle yesterday but that didn’t stop them from showing clips of people walking outside where literally the commentary was, “And not only is it cold today (around 30 degrees–big deal), but it’s also windy!!!!  These city-dwellers attempt to brave the elements to make it into work today.”  Meanwhile they show a few people wearing unbuttoned coats, not even looking very cold, walking with their hair slightly blowing in the wind.  Oooooh…. windy.  Apparently this is some of the coldest weather the Seattle area has had for quite some time which I just find funny.  I know it’s a temperate area and all that, but it just strikes me as odd that we moved out of the South and up near freakin’ CANADA!!!!  and people up here still don’t know what to do with a couple of inches of random snow.  Well, folks, we’re surviving.  

Eugene Cho’s just-in-case it really is the end of the world goodbye video, live from the Snowpocalypse.

Happy Birthday, Evelyne!

Or as she would say, “Hapatoo!!!”  

 

Monday was Evelyne’s 2nd birthday, and it was a good one.  We pretty much celebrated a whole Birthday Weekend around here, so the 15th was just the icing on the cake…..so to speak.  Ha!  Saturday night we had a few friends over to celebrate with pizza and cake.  Last year at her first birthday party she was pretty oblivious to the whole fiasco, especially since was just coming off of a bout with roseola, but this year she was so excited to have her friends over, be sung to, eat cake, open presents, etc…  We’ve had a lot of family birthdays lately, so while she definitely didn’t understand the whole aging concept, she knew that it was a special day for her.  Every time we’d sing her the birthday song she’d get this big bashful smile on her face like, “Aw, you guys!!!!!”  

Saturday night it snowed, so Sunday morning we played hooky from church and gave Evelyne her new tricycle.  We played in the snow, and she rode her new bike on our icy streets.  It was a fun birthday memory!

    

Monday morning we visited Clay at work and then I took her to McDonald’s for a Happy Meal lunch.  She’s only been there a couple of times in her life, but the girl could eat her weight in french fries, so she loves it.  We sat next to each other eating our fries in the playground area, just us.  It was so surreal.  I don’t think I’ve ever been out to eat with just her, so it definitely made me think about how much older she’s getting.  

I can’t believe my baby is two!  I’ve been rocking her to sleep for her naps lately, and every time I look at her sleeping face in my arms, I see newborn Evelyne.  Of course at this point she can barely fit in my lap (I’m sure that also has to do with my big belly!), but it always makes me think of holding her as a tiny baby.  She’s a pretty cuddly and affectionate kid, although she has been refusing me kisses lately.  She loves to be rocked and kissed and tickled and to curl-up in my lap to read.  Often in the mornings when I’m sitting on the floor checking my email and she’s watching Sesame Street, she just stands next to me with her hand on my shoulder and her face pressed next to mine… or she perches in my lap and pats me absentmindedly.  

This past year has been so much better than our first year together!  Like I’ve said before, Evelyne has somehow grown from a fussy, hard-to-please baby into a relatively easy and hilarious toddler.  She is bursting with personality and so much fun to be around.  She’s changed so much even just the past six months, and now that she talks alot, I just love being able to have little conversations with her and learn more about what she likes and thinks about.  She feels the most passionate about her love for Mimi…her beloved stuffed lamb upon whose ears she chews and sucks for comfort.  She’s kinda nasty and has her own unique smell, but it’s sweet to see the depth of love Evelyne has for her.  

She’s also completely obsessed with baby dolls.  She spends the better part of her day playing with her two babies and Mimi…giving them a bottle, taking them for a walk in the doll stroller, putting them night-night under a blanket, rocking them, etc…  over and over and over.  Anytime she hears a baby crying she turns to me with a concerned look and says, “Poor baby, poor baby.”  I feel pretty hopeful that she’s going to be a good big sister.  I think she’ll be so overjoyed at having a real live baby in her house that she won’t know what to do with herself!  I’m going to have to really be careful and make sure she doesn’t think that he belongs to her… I can just picture walking in the room and finding her little brother slumped over in the doll stroller underneath a blanket!  

Her new favorite thing to play when Clay gets home from work is chase.  Except she can’t handle the suspense of someone chasing her, so half the time instead of running away from us she’ll run into us squealing in laughter. Over the past few months she’s really developed a love for singing.  (girl after my own heart!)  She loves singing the ABC’s and “Twinkle, Twinkle,” and when we’re driving in the car she spends most of her time looking out the window and singing her own little made-up songs.  (And she has pretty good pitch!)  

Clay and I have sat back this week and marveled at the past year we’ve had with Evelyne, how much she’s changed and how much we love and enjoy her.  It’s amazing how much of a difference one year has made in who she is and the ways we relate to her.  I can’t imagine how much this next year will change our lives, especially now that we’re adding a little brother to the mix.  It’s kinda bittersweet that this is her last birthday when it’s just us, but I can’t wait to see how much she loves being a sister, I know it’s going to be the greatest gift we give her. 

So, “Hapatoo!!!!,” Evelyne!  Here’s to another year of adventure!

A Better Evangelicalism

iMonk had a great post answering a question someone asked him, “What do you see as the ideal Evangelicalism?”  Since there never will be an ideal Evangelicalism, he turned the question around and gave a list of ten ways that Evangelicalism could be better.  I tried to pick-out my favorites to list, but I really couldn’t choose since I think they’re all fantastic points.  He usually has a rousing discussion in the comments section of his posts, so I suggest you go check-out what transpires from this one.  But I’d also like to hear any thoughts you might have about his critiques on the current state of the Evangelical world.  

*(I must mention that his views come from a perspective that will sound rather foreign to some of you if you have never been in conversation with Christians who are not traditional conservative Evangelicals.  So I strongly encourage everyone to familiarize yourself with his blog since it will only be to your benefit… it’s been a huge source of learning for me over the past year or so, and he’s one of the only people I know of where I tend to agree with almost every single thing he says.)

1) Evangelicalism would be much better if it would admit that the Reformation and all subsequent divisions divided the one true church of Christ. None of those divisions created a new church or recreated the one, true church. All of Christianity today is the broken parts of what should be whole and entire.

2) Evangelicalism would be much better if it learned to see its own destructive, polluting entanglement in culture instead of trying to justify that entanglement as evangelism. Evangelicals have to live in culture, and I believe we should influence it, discern it and build admirable contributions to it, but the most essential attitude we should have toward it is to avoid the destructive, parasitic entanglements with culture that have sucked the life, power and distinctiveness from evangelicalism, especially in North America.

3) Evangelicalism would be better if it would admit and address its authority issue. Evangelicalism consists, to a large extent, of groups and individuals waving Bibles and shouting verses at one another. Evangelicals use terms like “Biblical Christianity” as if they could actually produce such a thing if asked. The assumption that our views are “based on the Bible” has produced a cacophony of contradictory, divisive and endless claims, counter-claims and wars. The evolution of evangelicalism seems destined to be toward the opposite poles of abandoning the concept of authority completely to the individual (usually the charismatic pastor) or creating an authoritarian hothouse where complete submission is obligatory to avoid exile or worse. Evangelicals have an authority problem. They will quite possibly never solve it as evangelicals, but they can make the situation considerably better by directly addressing the problems created in Protestantism and evangelicalism by our various approaches to authority and implementing serious measures to bring some coherence to the situation.

4) Evangelicalism would be better if it rid itself of every form of the prosperity Gospel and pursued spiritual formation and an imitation of Jesus that was consistent with what Jesus and the New Testament teach about money.

5) Evangelicalism would be better if it learned to see, in the various divisions of Christianity, the remaining diversity that once adorned the united church: liturgy, missions, evangelism, spiritual formation, theology, Biblical study, the work of the Holy Spirit, the power of the sacraments. Even if these divisions cannot be overcome, the visible remains of the once glorious body of Christ can still be seen and experienced, even in our broken condition. Evangelicalism should determine, like Merton said, to bring together in itself as many different aspects of the holistic church of Jesus as possible. As someone recently said, we are in a time when the basis of Christianity is being eroded in masse, yet we are still debating the issues of the 16th century divisions and ignoring how irrelevant these are to the world at large. I affirm with my own denomination the need for a Great Commission Resurgence, and it must encompass all Christian traditions, but especially evangelicalism.

6) Evangelicalism would be better if thousands of churches die and many thousands more are born via healthy church planting relationships.

7) Evangelicalism would be better if it brought out all of its riches of corporate worship and put them on display, rather than throwing out what seems old, selling out what seems out of fashion and denouncing what isn’t popular. Evangelicals have in the more ancient, broader, deeper, wider Christian tradition all those aspects and elements of worship that can not only end the worship wars, but bring the focus of worship clearly onto Christ being exalted in all things. Evangelicals are starving by the millions for Christ focused worship and gospel dominated spirituality, but at this crucial hour, we are determined to be trendy, innovative and to get more cars in the parking lot. A sad betrayal of all we know for the wisdom of the world. We’ll be very sorry in 20 years.

8. Evangelicals would be much better off if, as a movement, they had a common set of confessional/creedal/catechetical documents.

9) Evangelicals would be be much better off it they were poor and had to proceed, in every way, without the assumption that they can easily generate millions of dollars to do whatever they want to do. We need to embrace poverty for the sake of Christ, and repent of our idolatry of all things big, successful, wealthy and powerful. In the midst of this, we should repent of and renounce our dreams of political influence.

10) Evangelicals would be much better off if the Charismatic movement were to become a manistream part of every church, renewing and being renewed; giving and being nurtured itself. Christianity is not the dead, dry, dusty movement most of us see. It is alive with power and emotion; with human and divine energy. We should desire the full manifestation of the Holy Spirit and the continual empowering, freeing, healing, humbling work of the Spirit. Charismatic Christianity needs a Biblical/theological rescue, but mainstream evangelicalism desperately needs the spiritual movement that is at the heart of healthy third-wave and charismatic movements.

The darkest Friday I’ve ever seen

And I don’t mean metaphorically dark… I mean it’s really dark outside.  Like, we’ve had to turn lamps on in the house all day long because from the time I woke-up until right now (4:oo p.m., the time it’s normally dark anyway) the sun has been hiding, the rain has been falling, and it’s been ever so dreary and bleak.  I think I might hate this winter.  The weather says it will probably snow tomorrow, so I guess we’ll see about that.  

Yesterday I was at Fred Meyer (a store I’d never seen until I moved here… a weird blend of Kohl’s, Kroger, and uh, JC Penney, maybe?) and I saw three things I wanted to buy that were on sale this week:  a kitchen for Evelyne for Christmas, a toddler rocking chair, and some new throw pillows.  Since I was by myself and I knew Clay would be home today and I didn’t really feel like loading-up those big boxes in the back of the van by myself, I just figured we’d go back today to buy everything.  Well, that wasn’t such a smart idea.  I called this morning and they were out of everything.  I called several stores–out.  I finally found one that had the kitchen, so we packed-up and drove in the rain to the most crowded store ever.  A rude man in a red Explorer stole our parking space, even though we were waiting for it with our blinker on.  I normally don’t get upset at other drivers, but it was all I could do to keep my hands at my side.  Unfortunately he was already in the store by the time we parked at the back of the parking lot and walked in the rain past his car.  All I wanted to do was stick-out my 9-month pregnant belly and show him my sniffly toddler in the rain and make him feel bad about his poor decision, but I didn’t get the satisfaction.  The store had the kitchen, did not have the pillows or rocking chair.  I was SO annoyed.  

 I’m watching Sesame Street for the second time today.  They really need to quit it with the re-runs, let’s get some new material up in here.  I’ve had it with the same letters and numbers of the day.  But they are educational, I’ll give them that.  Evelyne knows all of her ABC’s and numbers 1-10, and I think good ol’ Elmo helped kickstart that.  

OK, that’s all.

Can we please talk about gas prices?

I just want to yell-out a big “MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!!!!!”  I am beyond excited about the current price of gas—today I drove past the cheapest gas station I know and it was $1.79!  I realize that it’s a lot cheaper in other parts of the country, my mom told me today that some places in Memphis are in the $1.40’s…. (which makes me want to throw-up, by the way), but the $1.70’s is pretty darn great!  I don’t recall gas being this cheap since I was in college!  

I’m completely oblivious to the way the oil industry works, so I have no idea why they’re coming down other than the fact that it’s winter and prices are usually a little cheaper in the winter.  And it kinda cracks me up that prices were as high as they had ever been and everyone was all “DOOM! DESTRUCTION! EVIL GAS COMPANIES!” and now it’s the cheapest it’s been in years.  I’m trying not to get my hopes up that it’ll last that long, but while it does, it’s saving us a good $100 a month which is HUGE for us.  

Yay for cheap gas!!!

What’s the cheapest you’ve seen gas so far?