Second time around….

25 weeks tomorrow

Sarah Palin’s Foreign Policy Experience

Soo…….   I’m just gonna post this clip and ask what y’all think.  Ain’t nobody hatin’, I’m just curious about others’ reactions to this Q&A.

Hot Topics, anyone?

So yesterday a friend and reader proposed the idea of starting a weekly series of postings on “hot topics.”  Part of the idea was that it would be a chance for me to share what I think about certain issues (not like I’m an authority on anything, but it IS my blog!) and it would also be a good way to generate some discussion in the comments section.

I told her that I thought that was a great idea, but if I were to be honest (and that is the idea, isn’t it?), then I have to admit that regularly writing about controversial issues scares me.  Because while you probably can’t tell, I’m a pretty non-confrontational person who doesn’t enjoy disagreeing with people.  (You might be saying to yourself, “HA! I don’t believe that for a second!” based-on some of the posts I’ve written recently!)  But in light of the fact that blogging is my attempt to be honest with others and process my thoughts, I think it would probably be a great idea to have a very civil and generous discussion of issues that we probably all have different thoughts on.  Many of y’all that I know personally are awesome thinkers and writers whose opinions I really respect, and I’d love to hear you share your thoughts on here with everyone else.

I’m also hoping that this will draw-out some people that I know are regular readers but rarely or never comment.  (You know who you are!!!)  I definitely don’t want this to be about me and my all-knowing opinion, and although my voice will be primary since it’s my blog, I’m more interested in generating a good discussion and exploration of the issues since I know we could all learn from each other.  I’d also LOVE it if y’all would email me with ideas of topics you’d like to see discussed, I don’t want to be fully responsible for coming-up with topics!!! So if you have any ideas, email me at EmmyMC98 AT aol.com

So, what do you think?

Success with Separation Anxiety!

I am very happy to report that Evelyne has grown in huge leaps and bounds lately in dealing with a phase of separation anxiety.  For the first time ever, we are leaving her in nursery/childcare and she’s having a great time.  I’m SO glad.

Ev has had some measure of separation anxiety since she was about six months old.  That was when she started freaking-out if I left the room, even if she could still see me.  Since that made leaving her with other people pretty difficult on her, we just didn’t do it.  Since then, she’s been happy to stay with my mom and my mother-in-law, but that’s about it.  It made things a little more difficult on us, especially when it came to us going to church, but that’s ok.  Once I saw how terrified she was if we tried to leave, there was no doubt in my mind that I couldn’t and wouldn’t leave her.

More or less, we’ve stood pretty alone in this amid a culture of parenting that says that you’re being overprotective and not letting your child grow-up if you are sensitive to her fearful cries of being left.  It’s considered normal to pass your child to a stranger while she clings to you and screams… you’re supposed to tell yourself that you’re doing what’s best and that it’s the only way she’ll learn.  Depending on the childcare workers, you might hear about how much your child cried while you were gone, or you might not.  You might even get lied to “so you won’t worry.” I’ve noticed that most people have the approach of, “They have to learn to deal with it, they’ll learn that you come back for them, and they all go through this.  It’s just a necessary part of parenting, otherwise they’ll never learn to be independent.”  We took a different approach of, “This is the youngest and most helpless she’ll ever be.  Separation anxiety is a very normal stage of development, but that doesn’t mean that her experience of fear is any less real.  Showing her consistency in being there for her when she needs us will help grow her into an independent adult because she will be confident that we will always respond to her.  We’ll wait until she grows out of this stage and help ease her through gently.”

Of course not everyone has the option of not being able to leave their child with other caretakers, working moms certainly can’t call-in sick for work every day because their child is upset.  However, our situation was such that leaving Evelyne was purely for our own benefit and convenience. And once I stopped looking at the situation from a selfish perspective, “I need a break!  For once I’d like to sit in church with my husband in peace!” I saw that wow… Evelyne is a person with real emotions and real fears.  Even though I know that I’ll be back, she really didn’t.  And being left in a different place with strangers is a scary thing.  I tried to put myself in her place.  Ya know that whole, “Love your neighbor as yourself” thing that Jesus was so big on?  Yeah, I imagine that applies to our kids. If I were her and experiencing everything she was, I certainly wouldn’t want to be left crying.  I just couldn’t justify putting Evelyne in that situation when I knew it was totally optional for me. It was a sacrifice at times, but I just reminded myself that although there were Sundays that I missed church because I was with her, God knew that that act of sacrifice was more authentic worship for me than sitting in church with the echoes of her crying “Mama!” ringing in my ears.

SO.  Clay and I made do, and thankfully we lived super-close to our church, and if one of us wasn’t volunteering in the nursery that morning with Evelyne, then we alternated services and one of us stayed home with her.  (It was her naptime anyway, and that would’ve just made things even worse.)  Moving to Seattle and a new church gave me cause for worry as I wondered how in the world we would do this.  The church we’ve been going to is about 30 minutes away, so we definitely can’t do what we had been doing.  So we decided to ease her in.

For the first four weeks or so, one of us went to the service and one of us stayed in the nursery the whole time to help her get used to it.  It also ended-up being a great opportunity for us to get to know the workers and meet people in the church.  She would spend about the first 10 minutes clinging to us, and then she would gradually venture out and play as though we weren’t even there.  Then came the big Day of Leaving.  I couldn’t do it, so Clay did after spending about 30 minutes in there with her.  He said she cried for about 30 seconds, if that, and then stopped.  We had a pager and told the workers to make sure they called us if she cried for us at all.  Thankfully, during our time with her in the nursery, we had seen many parents being paged because their child was crying for them, and we knew that they wouldn’t hesitate in letting us know if she was upset.  Never got a call.  Went to get her, and they said she did great and never fussed!

The next Sunday, I went in with her for about 15 minutes and then told her I was going upstairs to church and would come right back.  Thankfully, at 21 months, she’s old enough to understand exactly what I was saying.  She clung to my leg and wimpered-out a few “Mama! Mama!”, but she didn’t do more than fuss for about 10 seconds after I walked out the door.  (I stayed right around the corner to make sure.)  I was shocked!  Then last week came the first MOPS meeting.  This time I would be dropping her off at a class that neither one of us had ever been to before.  I had no idea what to expect.  Well, imagine my surprise when we walked in there and she immediately ran-off to play and didn’t even look back!  I stayed in there for a few minutes just to watch (afterall, I had never met these people either!), and when I said bye, she fussed before I stepped out the door, and then NOTHING.  I never got a page that she was crying, and they said she had a great time and never got upset! The kicker came last night when Clay and I went to a class at church and had to leave her in a small room with just one other kid, two adults, and only a handful of toys.  She clung to my leg and said “Mama! Mama!” before I walked-out, but then no crying!  She didn’t even run out the open door to follow me!  When we got her they said she never got upset and had a great time playing!

So by this point, Clay and I are just ecstatic!  We’re actually getting to go to church together and extra things like MOPS, she’s not crying at being left, and she’s having a great time playing with other kids.  I read somewhere that separation anxiety peaks around 18 months, and we definitely experienced that.  I really wanted to wait and ride-out this phase until she felt comfortable being left rather than forcing her to accept something that made her fearful.  I am SO happy that we waited!  I know every child is different, some never care when you leave them, some take a few years before they’re comfortable without a parent.  But I am so happy that I listened to my instincts on this one, didn’t pay attention when I got the vibe that people thought we were being totally weird and overprotective, and waited until she was ready.  I’m sure we’ll have off-days in the future, but for now I’m so proud of Ev and am really enjoying this long-awaited milestone!

New Archaelogical Discoveries Show American Church “on the right track.”

Thanks to Brant Hansen for breaking this important news story.  I’ve copied the whole thing below since I know most of you don’t bother clicking on links, and this is just way too monumental to risk anyone not reading.

Qumran, or However You Spell It, Near the Dead Sea (AP) –

Scholars here are abuzz after new biblical fragments were discovered.  “Now, everything adds up,” says Ehud Oren of Hebrew University.  “It all makes sense, now.  By the way, it’s pretty awesome that we keep finding stuff in this awesome cave.”

This find includes original, previously lost, texts from the biblical Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.  Scholars, in a collective statement, admit “some surprise” but they now see how the American church is squarely “on the right track.”

“We found these fragments with Jesus telling his disciples to grab some serious real estate, build it, and try to attract people to it,” the statement says.  “He even throws around the term ‘250 billion bucks’, which corresponds to the net real estate holdings of American churches at this very moment.  It’s freaky,” they say.

“He has some side conversations with the Pharisees, too, where he tells them he’s really all about, above all, being theologically astute, learned, and correct.  In these fragments, he’s real into arguing about ’predestination’ and having the right hierarchy set up and all that stuff,” the report says.  “It was a real emphasis.”

There’s even a reference to wanting his followers to market mint candies with scriptures inside.  “He told some businessmen, ‘If it reaches just one person, it’s worth it.’”

“It’s now clear, ultimately, that Jesus wanted his followers to prize knowledge, seize on academic differences, split 33,000 times, and set up parallel institutions across the street from each other,” the report says.  “So we’re right on track.”

There will be new verses to memorize, like John 47:12:  “And lo, you need to collect some money from yourselves, and then spend a full 85 percent of it on congregational maintenance,” and Mark 57:2:  “Check this out, disciples:  Some day, I’m going to let you guys satellite uplink yourselves.”

The scholars say the new texts emphasize the need for a permanent, professional class of experts to figure out what Jesus really meant, like when he said his teachings were actually “easy”.  (Matthew 11)

“We’re looking at a fragment now that continues on from where Jesus said all commands were summed up with just two, about loving God and neighbor.  Turns out, in the fragment, Jesus goes on to say, ‘Well, those two, plus a bunch of other ones, but you’ll understand those later when you get a Bible put together and start cutting it up in verses and stuff.’ — that’s what it says.  So we’re right on course,” the statement says.

“Turns out, we’ve been smack-on when it comes to ‘taking stands’ for stuff.  Previously, we didn’t have Jesus saying anything about ‘taking stands’ here and there, but now – in the new Matthew 73 — he goes down a long list:  Take a stand against Hollywood, against welfare reform, and against ‘The Shack’.”

Scholars point to the new Matthew 73:12:  “I know I said, I am the Truth, and I’ll always be with you, but I want you to act like the truth is this dainty, fragile thing that can only exist thanks to your personal heroic efforts to preserve it.  Take a stand, and then a bow.”

“We’re hitting on all cylinders,” the report concludes, citing the ongoing divisions and spending to justify expert debates over the Bible.  “It all makes sense now.”

Looks like I’ll be getting a flu shot

Just saw this article about a study that shows that pregnant women who receive a flu shot help protect their unborn child from the flu and other respiratory infections after they’re born.  Growing-up I almost never got a flu shot, and I’ve never had the flu.  But I did get one when I was pregnant with Evelyne (since my job was paying for it), and I should probably go get another one now since my baby will be born in January, peak cold and flu season.  Just wanted to pass this along!

Who Brian McLaren is Voting For and Why

Thanks to Bob for passing this along (I highly recommend his blog in general, and his recent election commentary in particular):

Below is a portion of McLaren’s Reason 1 for “Why I’m voting for Obama, and why I hope you will, too.”

I honestly haven’t paid enough attention to all the little issues in this election yet, and I definitely haven’t decided on who I’m voting for.  BUT, I must say that for the first time my political views are starting to be shaped by a growing theology of what it means to be a Jesus-follower rather than a conservative group mentality about what’s moral and immoral.  As I’m continually challenged by reading books such as Jesus for President and blogs like Jesus-Shaped Spirituality, Bob Hyatt, and my friend JR, my views on everything from parenting to politics has shifted from asking myself what seems to make sense and appears moral to asking myself what Jesus would think and do.  So as I’m approaching questions that are bigger than those I’ve tackled before in the area of politics, I’m finding that I’m continually bumping-up against how unbiblical and un-Christlike my priorities and focus have been, despite following the same teachings as most other evangelical Christians regarding the “spiritual” way to vote.

All that to say… I still don’t know who I’m voting for.  That’s going to take a LOT more time and effort spent in listening to the candidate’s positions and seeing how things look in the next month or so. (And maybe watching an actual speech)  BUT.  I’m really tracking with McLaren on this.  These are some of the main things I’ve been asking myself lately.  So, I’m gonna keep watching for what he has to say next, and I’d love to hear what anyone thinks about this particular issue:

Why I’m Voting for Obama, and Why I Hope You Will Too: Reason 1

Reason 1: Framing Story

[Note: over the next few weeks, I'll be posting a number of personal reflections on the political campaign. I am only speaking as a private citizen, not as the representative of any group.]

My top reason for supporting Barack Obama for president centers in the narrative I believe he frames his life and work by, in contrast to the narrative John McCain frames his life and work by. To me, this issue of narrative (or framing story, for readers of my book Everything Must Change) means far more in a president than whether he claims to be liberal or conservative, religious or nonreligious, Christian or otherwise, Democrat or Republican.

Does anyone doubt that Senator McCain lives by a warrior narrative? This is the most consistent theme in his campaign. For him the world is clearly divided into us and them.

We are good; they are evil. We are right; they are wrong. We are about safety; they are about danger.

This dualistic and fearful narrative is deeply rooted in McCain’s generation. They were formed in the simple, binary context of Axis and Allies, and then Communists and Free World. When Communism collapsed, a new antagonist conveniently presented itself (pre-empting the expected “peace dividend” and keeping the famed “military-industrial complex” well funded). This new war became what McCain calls “the transcendent challenge of the 21st century,” the clash of the West with fundamentalist Islam. McCain’s word “transcendent” is significant. It suggests a kind of holy war mentality, because for McCain, these us-them dualisms are absolute and therefore of a cosmic, metaphysical, even spiritual nature.

The dualistic us-them mindset, I believe, is bogus and dangerous. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is, ironically, the same narrative that drives “fundamentalist Islam,” and so by following it, we will become more and more like those we call our enemies. We already have done so in recent years, in fact, with torture and secret prison camps and the like. This warrior narrative is what Senator McCain has most dangerously in common with President Bush. This “transcendent war” narrative is what we are in most desperate need of changing through this election.

Think about where this warrior narrative can lead in the next four years. From war with Iraq to war with Iran, maybe even war with Russia, any of which would likely require the reinstatement of the draft since our troops have been stretched to the breaking point over the last four years. Soccer and hockey moms who are comforted by McCain’s warrior posture should keep this in mind, because there may well be an unanticipated downside to his fighter mindset.

Senator Obama certainly believes in a strong national defense. But I believe he leans toward a profoundly different narrative. It is a reconciliation narrative, a peace-building narrative, a collaboration narrative. He made it clear when he said he would change President Bush’s policy of not talking to our enemies. McCain and others tried to portray this alternative approach as cowardice and appeasement, but they were wrong. Instead of dividing the world into “us” and “them,” Obama’s narrative seeks to bring people together in a expanding us. While McCain’s narrative only offers enemies surrender and defeat, Obama’s offers them the possibility of reconciliation.

I favor Obama’s narrative or framing story because of two convictions I hold very deeply and passionately.

First, I am a committed Christian, and I believe a narrative of reconciliation is in harmony with the teachings of Jesus. Conversely, a narrative of domination and defeat is not: it is the way of Caesar, or what Jesus called “the kingdoms of this world.” I believe that at the core of Jesus’ teaching is the world’s truly transcendent challenge and call – to rise above the old narrative of “love your brother and hate your enemy.” In other words, rather than to “transcendent war,” I believe God’s call to all people is toward transcendent reconciliation. I am convinced that war is inherently non-transcendent. It is, in fact, anti-transcendent. I feel the God-given call to love enemies and seek reconciliation and eventual collaboration rather than domination and defeat and extermination. I know that many Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, agnostics, and atheists would feel a similar revulsion to voting an energetic promoter of a warrior narrative into office for another four years (or more).

Second, I believe we have crossed a threshold in my lifetime. Senator McCain, because of his age and his viewpoint, lives on the older side of that threshold. This doesn’t mean he is evil, but it means he is responding in ways that are no longer appropriate to a world that no longer exists, and in that way, his viewpoint is no longer helpful.

Read the rest…

I’ve been a lazy lazy blogger

Not much in the creative or deep-thinking department happening with me this week.  It actually feels like I’ve had one big long 10-day week since I didn’t really get a weekend break.  Clay took his first NAIOMPT class last weekend which was all-day Friday and Saturday and most of Sunday.  Then he went straight back to work on Monday.  And this week his schedule is super-full, so he’s been working late.  (Got home last night at 10—we’re talking 15 hr. workday, good grief!)  So, no break for either one of us!  Looking very forward to this weekend!!!!

Also, this week is the start of my brand-new Fall activity schedule.  For a boring homebody mom like me, this is totally different, but I think it’ll be good for both of us.  On Thursdays I’m starting a MOPS class with some friends who invited me to join, and on Tuesdays I’ve actually landed myself a miniscule part-time job. I haven’t been employed in almost two years, but we’re definitely running low on the cash since the move sucked us dry and left us for dead, so I found a small job that will give us a little bit of money for Christmas presents.  Coincidentally, it’s also with MOPS.  I’ll be working as a childcare worker every week for 3 hours in the two year-old room, and Evelyne gets to come with me.  The best part is probably the fact that it gets us out of the house and gives her a chance to play in a new environment with other kids.  I’m realizing more and more lately that she is a much more on-the-go type of girl than I am, so I’m trying to go out of my way a bit to accomodate her.  I’m happy to stay home all day, she’s begging me to go outside and get in the car to go bye-bye from the time she wakes-up until she goes to sleep at night.  So I think she’ll enjoy the fact that when you throw-in playgroup and regular errands throughout the week, our days will be a lot more full this Fall.

Right now she’s lying in her bed (I should specify that it’s the pack-n-play she’s been sleeping in for months since our crib was recalled and we JUST received the voucher for a new one the other day) singing and talking.  (NOT sleeping.)  I’m sure sometime in the next ten minutes she’ll stand-up and start yelling at me, and I’ll have to go in and rock her again.  Oh well.  At least the next hour and a half or so will be MINE.  Couch, here I come!!!!!

The funniest political skit I’ve seen so far

Just saw this, and I was laughing outloud almost the whole time!

http://www.hulu.com/watch/34465/saturday-night-live-palin–hillary-open

Thanks, Andrea!

You know you’re watching a lot of Sesame Street…

when you wake-up one morning and realize that you’ve been dreaming about Elmo.

Or when your husband’s co-worker catches him humming the opening tune while at work.  Haha!